Wow snap. There are parts of this that really rang true for me. My dad is also an alcoholic I have so many memories from growing up that are tainted by his drinking. I suppose you would call him a functioning alcoholic as he keeps a house and job. My mum and sister almost facilitate his behaviour. The times I have been told ‘oh you know that’s just your dad, he drinks a bit too much’ I think it is possible I take this view because much of his drunken anger was directed towards me.

Age has not improved him in anyway. Four years ago he disowned me, when he found out I was gay. I always knew he would but hadn’t found anyone up until then it was worth coming out for. The positive result of this is that I now no longer have contact with him and I don’t miss it one bit. I have started healing. My sister and mum are still excusing his behaviour. They are still using the line ‘oh you know that’s just your dad’

Another result of growing up with an alcoholic father is the way I react around people are getting drunk. I almost put the walls up as soon as they start drinking. Do you find the same thing? This is the first time I have said this to anyone other than my partner so thank you so much for the article.

UK writer & writing coach - views on writing, parenting, mental health & more. Want to improve your writing —

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